What matters are close to your heart Rinetta?
asked me yesterday someone I randomly met on a train.
I quickly get to the essence even with unknown people 😅
I love to encourage you, to find out:
What is your strength?
You are worthy. You are one of a kind.
You are enough, just as you are.
I am very open and meet frequently new people.
Very often I get the feedback, you are so relaxed, so yourself.
That makes me happy. I feel that way myself.
It was not always like that.
On the contrary, I was looking for authenticity for years.
Looking for myself.
My childhood was not one, I was supported or even allowed to be myself but exactly the opposite.
The dissolution of “self“ was the target.
Toward the religious fusion of a homogeneous mass of submissive sinners, crawling the path to eternal penance.
A worm that crawls in the dust to be redeemed by God.
Only those who deny themselves, virtually erase the self, have a chance for forgiveness.
A chance to be welcome in paradise after death.
Therefore it would be nice, there would be one after death, otherwise the whole life would be all for nothing.
Wohooow, as I write that, I think, gosh. How extreme that sounds.
Well it was.
It led me to a year long search for myself.
I was looking for a sense beyond the gloom of these biblical interpretations.
And that made me strong.
It made me being the strong, vital, clear, relaxed, optimistic, honest woman that I am today.
Yeah, yes, I can also be explosive, I can get upset and freak out and want to jump someone’s throat and be totally snotty and in a bad mood and absolutely in resistance 😫
I am a human.
The Lithuanians are rumored to be as temperamental as Spanish folks among the Eastern folks 😂
I definitely have temper.
Oh boy. I do.
A friend said years ago, Rinetta you are, being in good mood, like a sun whose radiance one can not escape. Being in bad mood, like a big black hole that devours everything that is not nailed down.
He was right.
The difference to earlier years is, I now come very, very fast, out of my black holes and they are not nearly as deep anymore.
I got rid of those sometimes day or even week-long thought-loops that turned and twisted around one thing and almost drove me crazy.
Today I allow myself to feel what is.
To feel resistance to what is, if there is.
I feel my rage. My anger. I welcome the feeling that emerges.
And then I say goodbye.
And it dissolves.
I know about my exceptionality.
I appreciate it very much.
I am in love with myself.
I love to look in the mirror and say:
hello beautiful – you’re becoming more beautiful every day 😍
Therefore I see the beauty in you.
I know, you also have courage to find and live your awesomeness.
Not only showing off coolness that is usually very easy.
No, also your vulnerability.
That is your power.
To show your cracks to the world, because light can fall through and illuminate all others and everything around you.
Every day a little more.
If you need help, write me. There is always a way. A solution. For everything.
Love ❤️ Rinetta