…a refreshing, cooling smoothie with fresh first apples from the garden of my dear neighbour.
I have just came back from the lake. Tegler See is one of my favourite lakes here in Berlin.
I did not swim, but walked and then meditated for a long time on a bench by the water. Wide open view into the distance is so important to me.
My morning meditation doesn’t always work out well, then I like to go out, either for a walk, I simply walk the streets or parks or along the lake. In doing so, my constantly rattling mind calms down by itself.
Now I am very relaxed. Fresh air. Sun. Heat. Water. Wide open view and I’m back in balance.
After a few days with my mum, brother and uncle, even though I love them dearly, I always need some time to get back to myself.
My life is sooo different. I live without net and with my family everything is rather double secured. Because of this, life is not lived fully. Dreams are dismissed as totally unimportant, or even referred to as “nonsense”.
For me dreams are essential.
Where would human kind be without dreams?
Nonetheless, it’s very challenging to get rid of my old story that emerges like an octopus from the shallows of the past.
To remind myself that I am by now somewhere else since quite some time.
And to endure the sadness. I feel such sadness since I came back from my mums. She did not live so much life. For many years suffered from depression. And I wish for her soooo many more beautiful years and would like to do anything to make her feel good. Sure, as a child of a depressed mother, I know that I can not, make her happy, that it’s not my job and yet, now that I’m a grown-up, I still want her to be fine. Even more than that, I’d love her to can catch up, at least a little, of what she could not live. And yet she is an adult and it is not my job to live or organise her life.
I find it challenging to accept it and let her live as she does.
I always have suggestions for improvement.
I practice to let go and am already much better.
The day at the lake was good, helped me reconnect to myself.
What are you doing to get yourself back into balance?
What helps you?
This is us.
Be good with you.
1 Chinese cucumber
1 handful of parsley
1.5 cups kombucha (or water)
1 teaspoon match powder
1 teaspoon of aronia berry powder
Blend everything well and enjoy